On any given day in Bangkok, Patrick and I find ourselves grumbling about “stupid tourists” as if we are about fifty years older than we actually are. After three weeks traveling in more conservative northern Thailand, we quickly learned that if you show a modicum of respect, the Thai people will welcome you with glowing smiles but if you are disrespectful (even unknowingly), then they will stare at you with shocked eyes and, on occasion, refuse to help you or begin arguing with you.
On the upside, it is incredibly easy to learn what Thais consider “polite manners” and these six rules should make you many friends in Thailand:
Bangkok market
#6: Never yell or raise your voice during bargaining. Of course, in general, it is hard to make friends if you scream at people but in cities like New York, being rude may be the only way to get the end result you need. Not so in Thailand. Thai culture frowns on antagonism and overt conflict. For example, we did some minor damage to one of the motorbikes we rented. The rental company owner kept apologizing to us because he had to ask us more money than we originally offered to pay for the damage. After a few days in Thailand, we quickly picked up on this cultural quirk but we have seen several shop owners be completely taken aback and offended when tourists start yelling at them.
#5: Do not criticize the king or Buddhism. Thai people take their religion and their king very seriously and it is a criminal offense to criticize the king. Stand while the national anthem is being played in movie theaters or in markets.
Hall of Buddhas
#4: Watch your feet. If you are going to be traveling around Asia, invest in a good pair of sandals because you will be taking your shoes off whenever you visit temples, walk into a guesthouse, or even enter certain museums. Also, do not point your feet toward Buddha at temples.
#3: Learn a few Thai phrases. Thais use the wai, a gesture similar to the Indian Namaste, with palms placed together and a quick bow of the head, to show respect when saying hello and goodbye. The Thai people seem amazed that we have taken the trouble to learn to greet them with a wai and “sawasdee ka (for women)/krup (for men).” “Korp koon ka/krup” means “thank you.” Easy enough, right? [If you are heading to Cambodia, "hello" is "Sua s'day" and "thank you" is "au khun." Cambodians have been even more impressed that we know those two Cambodian phrases.]
Not appropriate clothing for a wat
#2: Do not wear clothes showing your legs and shoulders at Buddhist temples. Every single tourist map, guidebook, and temple has signs and warnings telling people to wear appropriate clothing but many enter the temples wearing sleeveless tops or shorts. Most temples in Bangkok rent unattractive sarongs to wear while walking around but if you want to save your fashion sense and money, consider wearing pants that you can roll up after you visit the temple and a short-sleeved shirt.
And, the big one . . . .
Ummm... why, just why?
#1: Do not wear overtly offensive T-shirts at holy places and temples. The picture above was taken at Wat Pho, one of the most sacred temples in all of Thailand, and prompted the writing of this post. Please remember that many Buddhist monks read English; about half the folks at the temple couldn't take their eyes off this guy's shirt and I felt so awkward for the poor monks sitting near us. So, when you put your t-shirt on in the morning, ask yourself whether you would want a Buddhist monk to read it.
The good news is that the vast majority of folks we have met in Bangkok ---- especially Gary from Everything Everywhere and Greg at Greg to Differ --- are cool, interesting, and not stupid at all. That makes us happy.
I am a Buddhist, myself, and have seen these offenders often in Thailand, as well as Cambodia and Burma. It is a shame even though there are signs at temples and mentions in the guide books and tourists continue to be out and about without concerns. One other thing I find very disturbing is getting up close to a Buddha statue and taking picture with the Buddha (this is a no, no in Burma i know for sure and especially for females).
I have also seen young Thai nationals that are just as guilty showing way too much skin. Not a very good example for tourists!
Excellent points, all. I recently tweeted about a couple who screamed at our van's driver on the way out of Cambodia, yelling loudly enough to bring people from nearby street stalls to watch. In the end, the driver picked up their bags and booted them off the bus, to their total shock. I hope more tourists read your post and respect these basic and important rules.
Good advice all. I think one thing that occasionally prompts foreigners to raise their voices in negotiations or conflict is a cultural misunderstanding. The Thai smile when they are embarrassed. So if a Thai driver wrecks your rental car and appears a bit too jolly about it, it might not be the cocky, devil-may-care attitude it appears to be to Westerners. On a tangent, I see so many non-English speakers sporting offensive shirts and it makes me wonder what Japanese curse words I was sporting in the 1980s! I've also been told never to step on the threshhold of the doors into the wat.
Kevin
@KevinRevolinski
travelingmadly.blogspot.com
http://www.TheMadTravelerOnline.com
Excellent article. In most places in Asia, you get better results from smiling & being polite rather than yelling. In most Malaysian houses, people also take off their shoes/slippers and go barefoot inside.
Nice! Pretty bang on - that picture of the 'bad t-shirt guy' is killer, what a douche. My friend once snapped a picture of a drunk foreigner, almost passed out in his seat on the skytrain with his bare feet propped waaaayyy up on the pole so people couldn't hang on to it. He wanted to smack the guy across the face and tell him to smarten up, but that would have made things even worse. PS, thanks for plug. You're nice too! Drop me a line when you're back in town.
Great post. I joke about being a horrible, culturally ignorant travel but not showing respect to your host country is just unfathomable to me. The pic of the t-shirt blows my mind.
Just kidding--realized you're not there anymore! Also, you're going to be in India at the exact same time as my sister and FOUR different friends. Crazy. Apparently March is the month for India!
I have to admit that once I was a stupid tourist. In Chiang Mai we were out for the day hadn't planned to go anywhere so I had a tank top and shorts on. Later on we realized we were next to this wonderful temple so walked over. I was able to cover my shoulders but I had shorts on. I was stopped from going into the temple but completely understood and let my companions go inside the complex while I photographed from the outside.
All great thoughts on Thailand. Another one: Don't touch anyone on the head. The head is considered sacred while the feet are dirty and disrespectful to point at someone, as you stated before.
I would be embarrassed to wear those t-shirts in my own country where people don't know me, much less in a foreign country. Maybe they think they can get away with it in Asia. These folks speak and READ English! Stupid...
Wow - I don't know who that guy is in the photo and I really shouldn't be criticizing but hey, I'm only human and he's a douche. But guys aren't the only ones who violate the dress code when they enter religious establishments. When I was in Istanbul I saw plenty of American tourists saunter into mosques with mini skirts and tank tops without a care in the world. The worst part is, they entered right during the evening prayer. It's absolutely disrespectful and makes these are the things that make the American people look bad.
It makes me so sad when people are amazed when I learn a few cultural phrases and gestures of their country. It means that not many people are even attmepting to do it and I think that's so arrogant and disrespectful. I won't even go into the ignorance and unconcern that' I've witnessed at shrines and holy places. Your tips are so helpful but also common sense to me. Why would you ever raise your voice, criticize someone's religion or leader any way? The revealing clothes is the only slip up I can understand. I was once stopped from going in a cathedral in Venice because my skirt was too skirt but since it's Italy, my tour guide's skirt was short too. she took off her scarf and covered my legs and we proceeded in.
Sadly, I've seen way too many tourists being disrespectful to cultures in my travels, more so during the last trip. I won't name nationalities but they sure could do with some travel education before they leave home!
That guy shouldn't have been allowed inside the temple. I'm not a Buddhist and I find it offensive.
Another great post! Thailand ended up being one of our favorite places simply because the people were so gracious and kind. It was unlike any other culture we've visited.
Great tips here and we notice these same kind of things. I hate witnessing people who feel that they are above the rules. I realize people make mistakes, overlook signs, etc but many simply ignore rules because they feel they don't apply to them. Travel should involve a great deal of respect no matter where you go. If you are asked to cover up do it. Like you said it is in every guidebook and article everywhere.
Thanks for the helpful tips--we've all made stupid tourist mistakes at times. It's impossible to be entirely proper when traveling in foreign lands. I wanted to clarify one point, however. The Cambodian greeting is "sua s'day" (casual) or "chum riep sua s'day" (formal). To ask, "How are you?" it's "sok s'bay, te?" I'm very curious to know how and where you learned "siyawadi ka" because I'm infinitely interested in the language. Khmers often pick up on new, hip phrases, or make jokes of their own language (saying "say s'bok" instead of "sok s'bay"). I'm curious if this is a new one. Cheers, Karen
Got Passport, I didn't know that you can't take pictures with the Buddha. We saw a number of Thai tourists taking pictures a short distance in front of the Buddha but we had read in Lonely Planet that it is not appropriate to take pictures with the Buddha, so we didn't do it.
Legal Nomads, oh, those poor people. They probably didn't even realize why they were being put to the curb and got even angrier.
Kevin, that is an interesting point about Thai people smiling when they are embarassed. We noticed that as well and I think it contributes to much of the confusion. Actually, the threshold rule also applies in India - don't step on the threshold into the temple.
Sleepless in KL, the same is true in India, as well. I wonder if people take their shoes off in every Asian country because of the Buddhist and Hindu influences.
Thanks Greg. Eek, that story about that guy in the train is terrible especially considering how crowded the Bangkok trains tend to get.
Joel, I think that, for the most part, people just aren't aware of some of the important "politeness" tips. I always want to tell foreigners who come to the U.S. to chew with their mouths closed and give a little bit of personal space because it is a big deal in the U.S. but clearly not in every other country.
Camels & Chocolate, we actually had to head out of Southeast Asia a bit early due to a family emergency so we aren't going to make it back to India. But maybe one of these days we will be able to meet up on the road.
Ayngelina, I think it happens to the best of us. I didn't realize that shorts weren't allowed in the central chamber at Angkor Wat because the rest of Angkor doesn't have a dress code (and, actually, I am not entirely convinced that they had a dress code there because I saw several other women and men with shorts entering the temple so Patrick and I wonder whether it was because I am brown-skinned and was wearing shorts.)
Brian, that's a good point about touching on the head.
Leigh, a sarong is really useful in Southeast Asia because you can wrap it around your waist even if you have shorts on while you are outside the temple. Would love to meet up if we are in town at the same time!
Monica, wow! Given how much press there is in the U.S. about the conservative nature of the Islamic countries, you would think that women would know better than to enter a mosque in a mini-skirt.
Fly Girl, I agree. I think a lot of the cultural respect is just common sense but there are some quirks (especially with respect to bargaining) that don't come naturally to foreigners. The dress code thing is likely to trip people up because it seems to vary in every country. As a general rule of thumb, I try to wear the most conservative attire I have when I visit any religious place (whether a church, temple, or mosque) just in case.
Andy, thanks!
Jen, yep, I really don't know what he was thinking.
Gourmantic, I really did think it was an awful shirt, too. I am kind of surprised they let him in but maybe the guards didn't read English.
Thanks Lori! The people in Thailand are so sweet and polite. Everyone makes mistakes and, as Karen says, I think every person has made a stupid tourist mistake at some point or another - it only irritates me when people start ignoring the rules.
Karen, I had read in Lonely Planet, that it was sua s'day for hello so we started using sua s'day when we traveled. But, when we stayed in Siem Reap, the guesthouse owner told us to use siyawadi ka. Now, it could be that we just didn't understand him or got confused but we used it throughout Cambodia and people seemed to respond. I am going to change the post above to reflect that it is sua s'day just to be on the safe side.
Great list! I agree, using some phrases in their language really lightens up the people you talk to. It is sort of a way of showing that you're interested in their country and isn't only there for the full moon parties and cheap bargains.. :)
I say let them learn by error and wandering.I had my best adventures that way.I so remember Pattaya Banglamoon Chonburi district more than any.I had the true THAI adventure there. The locals were so willing to do business.I found the best food and deals there.I FELL in The Canal and that sucked.I was drunk and that was a consequence.This was early 1981.I want to visit now so badly but I can no longer afford it.
-- TimGiangiobbe 03/19/2010 17:19:27
I'm really glad I read this list before I went to Thailand! I don't have immediate plans to go, but I definitely want to go in the coming years. I haven't been to Asia yet, and I'm a bit scared, as everything seems so foreign. So glad to learn the little nuances -- I had no idea that to bargain loudly was offensive there! So glad I got the heads up :)
Sofia, you're right. Knowing the language makes a huge difference especially because Thailand is so notorious for being a party destination.
Tim, definitely trial and error are good ways to learn and have adventures especially in a beautiful country like Thailand. I hope you are able to make it back some time.
Emily, don't be scared! Really, truly, don't be scared about going to Thailand. It is one of the most accessible countries we have been to and the people are amazingly nice. It is very Western but still has an Eastern flavor. I think it is a very good "starter" destination if you haven't been to Asia before and then you can hit some of the harder countries like China and India.
-- Akila 04/22/2010 18:42:18 Akila's recent blog post: unsettled
I lived in BKK for 3 months this last year and I quickly learned a few things to survive there. Thais have it down when it comes to tourists and they can get a dollar out of your pocket faster then any. I know everyone is jumping all over those guys (and i agree it was some dumb sh*t to wear that there and surprised no one said something when he entered) is that they sell the shirts to the tourist at a deal one can't say no to, then get offended by it. Go to any market in BKK and those shirts are a dime a dozen (more so then anywhere else i have seen in the world). It's not an excuse but a fact, on-top of the fact they more then likely forgot what they were wearing when they went... happens after staying on Kah San Road for a few nights! :)
1) The single biggest thing to surviving in Thailand is never make a Thai person lose face. You can be getting totally screwed by one, justice of the courts around the world would side with you, but if you start trying to throw your weight around your done. I was able to get through some situations by just biting my tongue and smiling the whole time until the finally gave in and did me right. If i had yelled just for a second I would have been lost on the problem and made the situation even worse.
2) Thai people are the proudest people I have ever met! They love there king, enough said and never bring up the movie "The King & I" You will have lost a Thai friend forever if you do.
3) ... and don't forget tho stand before the movie when they play the National Anthem. It might not be a big deal to you then but imagine if you were at a ball game and the Chinese guy sitting next to you was chocking down a hot dog and scratching his balls while the American National Anthem was playing... you would be upset a little to I think.
More information about the website
Contact us at theroadforks [at] gmail [dot] com
2009-2010 Sunoptikos, LLC, "Seeing everything together." All rights reserved.
